With the holidays quickly upon us with so much to do, no wonder this is a stressful time of year for many.
Feeling unappreciated and doing all we feel we have to do for the holidays contributes exponentially to our stress.
It doesn’t have to be like that.
Whether the holidays or not, if you are feeling unappreciated or underappreciated, you can take steps to change that regardless of other people.
Yes, this may seem counterintuitive, but I invite you to give it a real try.
“We change the world not by what we say or do, but as a consequence of what we have become.” ~ David R. Hawkins
When you want something more in your relationships and you want to feel better, it is key that you become “the more” or “the better” that you want. This holds true for appreciation.
If you feel like your partner or family doesn’t appreciate you and all you do, consider trying gratitude within, for yourself and your partner and family.
Studies have found that being grateful changes the way you feel about another person, whether you express that gratitude or not.
Research has found that those who felt appreciative of their partners were more responsive to their partner’s needs and were more committed to their relationships. Your partner will feel this appreciation.
Appreciating another person isn’t just about saying thank you. It’s a way to express what they or what they do mean to and contribute to your life. Gratitude is a healing vibration. When you feel gratitude for another, you become that healing energy and your feelings of not being appreciated dissolve. When your partner or family feels appreciated, they will most likely show that back to you.
In David R. Hawkins book Power vs. Force, appreciation calibrates at 500 in his Map of Consciousness. In other words, in terms of vibration and energy, Gratitude, or appreciation is a high vibration. To contrast and put it in perspective, guilt calibrates at 30, shame at 20, grief at 75, fear at 100, anger at 150, and enlightenment calibrates between 700 and 1000.
How do we connect with this healing vibration of appreciation and make the most of the holidays? It is an inner job and a choice.
The place to start is noticing that you are feeling unappreciated. Then STOP, take a breath, and decide – do you want to continue feeling like this, or do you want to change it? If you want to change it, here are a few tips.
- Stop and notice that you are feeling unappreciated. In that moment, tap into your heart and find things about yourself to appreciate – the fact that your body is allowing you to do all that you do, that you have family and relationships, that you have choices and food and shelter, and so much more.
- Every morning first thing, connect with your heart and find the simple things that are already in your life to truly appreciate. This may be a beautiful sunset, the few moments you observe you precious child asleep and dreaming, the natural beauty of your friend, cute puppy or elephant videos, a warm drink on a chilly day. Don’t wait until you feel bad.
- Take a few moments of alone, quiet time to tap into your heart and find three things that you are truly grateful for in your partner (or family members). FEEL the gratitude for how that makes your life more amazing. Hold onto that feeling as you get back into your day.
Gratitude, felt and expressed tends to not only make the receiver of the gratitude feel better, but it also improves the relationship for both parties. When you feel and express your appreciation, it changes how you view and feel about the relationship, and it changes your state of being.
Running around feeling unappreciated while doing all you do creates stress. When you express yourself from a place of stress, it is far different than when you actually pause for a few minutes, tap into your heart, feel the gratitude for what is, and get into a state of gratitude. When you express yourself from a state of gratitude, your world changes.
When you become grateful, you are changed. When you change, the world around you changes.
If you would love a Happier Holiday Season, I invite you to give this a try.
I would love to hear your experiences with this this holiday season.
Much gratitude for you, and Best Wishes for a Healthy, Happy Holiday!